I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
