i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
and she was petting her beer can
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
