i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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