The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
