so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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