Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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