yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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