At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
