He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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