We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
