The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
