i may or may not be watching the land before time
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Shame - the story of my life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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