My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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