Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
