Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
