what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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