The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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