Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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