i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just want to make out with him forever
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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