I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
apparently the secret to your success is patron
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
