My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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