I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
