What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
