i'm signing you up for texting rehab
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
