who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I need a beard to bite.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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