When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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