He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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