it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
