Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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