my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
