i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
