mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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