I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
