she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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