Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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