I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
