I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
