I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
