It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
