The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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