If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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