i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
