Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
