we have pet lesbian snakes
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
