we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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