One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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