I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
