i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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