took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
