Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
