I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
