Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
