I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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