Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize